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chilledbutter:

Once in science class the teacher was talking about reproduction and how almost everything we do on routine is to attract a mate and this one boy was all “I don’t want a wife or a girlfriend” so everyone was all “omg r u gay” and he said “no i kinda dont really want anyone” and there was silence until he said “well actually i kinda want lizard” and long story short that kid came out as asexual in front of 30 8th graders

(via nbrhoods)

46 seconds ago │ 13,493 notes


(Source: dean-odb, via blessmgmt)

1 hour ago │ 28,696 notes

(Source: beyoncesson, via damonallbranlover)

2 hours ago │ 157,105 notes

me on my deathbed: i just have one more thing 2 say before i die
everyone: what is it
me: the kardashians just love each other so much like no matter what anyone says they always have each others backs and remember when rob didn't go to kims wedding because he was feeling self conscious and she wasnt even mad she was just sad for him like how sweet is that
everyone: are u serio-
me: kardashians 4 life
me: [dies]
3 hours ago │ 1,389 notes

llcooljofficial:

one time in 7th grade everyone in my class got really quiet so i said “dildo” just to see the ridiculous reaction since i knew how immature 7th graders were

for 30 minutes, there was an uncontrollable uproar of laughter and someone fell and hit their head on a chair and had to go to the nurse

because i said dildo.

(via ugly)

3 hours ago │ 183,009 notes

movie007:

Inglourious Basterds (2009)

(via thelilnan)

3 hours ago │ 567 notes

radioactivemongoose:

at my 16th birthday party my friend john accidentally flashed one of his balls and i remember it in vivid color & detail like sometimes i forget the faces of loved ones but that single nut haunts me. one time i fell in a ditch and i kept sabotaging myself like “what if the last thing i think of before i die is john’s nut” like i wasn’t actually gonna die but these are the kinds of things you consider when you fall in a ditch. john’s nut

(via jibber-jabber-jingles)

3 hours ago │ 142,262 notes

mcchickened:

an very important hole

(via gnarly)

3 hours ago │ 286,268 notes

communistbakery:

I hate when my teachers lower my test scores… it’s so degradeing

(Source: communistbakery, via fake-mermaid)

3 hours ago │ 64,577 notes